Spotting Hidden Diet Mentality

[00:00:00] Maggie: [00:00:05] [00:00:10] Hello, everybody. Welcome to the podcast [00:00:15] today. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, [00:00:20] yeah. You guys, did you guys think that was me in the intro music? Because someone in Vibe [00:00:25] Club said that they thought it was me. And I re listened, and I'm like, not a chance. Not a chance this is me. [00:00:30] What?

[00:00:30] Ryan: The intro song.

[00:00:31] Maggie: Yeah, the intro, the intro song to this podcast.

[00:00:34] Ryan: That was a song we licensed for [00:00:35] you. Oh, yeah.

[00:00:35] Maggie: From

[00:00:36] Ryan: a music library.

[00:00:37] Maggie: Yeah, we, like, we got the right [00:00:40] to use it, right? Paid for the licensing of it or whatever, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, we didn't record it. Maybe they [00:00:45] think, like, why wouldn't we? You know, we just do everything in house over here with the tech stuff.

[00:00:48] Maggie: But it is not [00:00:50] me. Um, and, oh, that came up because, oh, someone had left a review saying, [00:00:55] please change the music.

[00:00:56] Ryan: Yeah. There's a skip button on your app. Oh. Just use that.

[00:00:59] Maggie: Here's the thing, [00:01:00] you guys, and I don't need to defend anything, but we actually, we chose that in the beginning, and then we had [00:01:05] a rebrand, as you guys know, when we turned from Sustaining Keto to whatever the last name was.

[00:01:09] Maggie: [00:01:10] It's too long to remember. Burn fat with your brain. And Ryan changed it for the rebrand, as like, makes sense, right, to [00:01:15] change it. And I was like, I hate this. Change it back. And he's like, I'm not going to change it back. Like, we're just going to keep it. And I'm like, [00:01:20] no, you need to change it back. And then people complained that they were sad, they missed the song, we ended up changing it back.

[00:01:24] Maggie: [00:01:25] And then for this rebrand, I'm like, I'm absolutely not changing it. We had multiple requests not to change it [00:01:30] back. And then people who were like, oh my gosh, it's so annoying. And that, that is just such a good example of, you [00:01:35] know, everybody's got their own opinion and you're never going to have anything where all the opinions land on one [00:01:40] side.

[00:01:40] Maggie: You know what I mean? But I'm keeping it, and I've had it since, other than the couple weeks we went without it, I've had it [00:01:45] since day one. And it's quirky, and it's fun, and it's not all dumb and business y, [00:01:50] and that's my whole goal as a business person.

[00:01:52] Ryan: And I think people, after hearing you explain that, they'll understand [00:01:55] why we have that song.

[00:01:56] Maggie: Yeah.

[00:01:56] Ryan: And how it fits.

[00:01:57] Maggie: And you guys, can I say something really [00:02:00] fucking quick? Do you, do you guys listen to other podcasts? Do you hear the [00:02:05] 15 minutes of ads in other people's podcasts? We know how to use the fast [00:02:10] forward button. I know we do. For sure. I do. I'm like, what the fuck is this? No, I don't [00:02:15] turbo tax.

[00:02:15] Maggie: What is this? Like, no. Okay. So

[00:02:17] Ryan: it's not just the ads, but they're, dude, they're [00:02:20] so long that a lot of people have. Introductions that you hear every time and you don't need to [00:02:25] hear that and everyone skips through those. So we know you. And like,

[00:02:28] Maggie: listen, if you are doing ads on your [00:02:30] podcast, congratulations, get that bag for sure.

[00:02:33] Maggie: Um, we've gone down [00:02:35] that route very, very briefly for a couple of products over the years, but not for a long time. And I think, I think they're [00:02:40] really annoying, but I understand why people do it. So anyways, the music stays. Use [00:02:45] that fast forward button. Vibe Club is still open for enrollment. We are having people joining [00:02:50] every single day, which warms my heart.

[00:02:51] Maggie: I love that the community is awesome. We're [00:02:55] loving it. So if you are, you know, resonating with what you hear on this podcast every week, I, [00:03:00] I don't, I can't remember. It's not like I don't hear back about this podcast, but I can't [00:03:05] remember. A time of recent past where I've heard as much back from people as I have over the [00:03:10] last maybe one to two months of the podcasts that are coming out.

[00:03:12] Maggie: I want you guys to know that the, these topics that [00:03:15] we've been covering are covered at length in Vibe Club. They are coached on, , [00:03:20] we get to take everything you hear on this podcast deeper there. So if it resonates here and you like [00:03:25] this podcast, I want to emphatically say you will love Vibe Club.

[00:03:28] Maggie: And that includes if you've [00:03:30] been in Vibe Club before, you will love it even more.

[00:03:32] Ryan: Okay. Like imagine you can text Maggie, now you can't [00:03:35] text Maggie, but like imagine you can text Maggie and she responds with a mini podcast based on [00:03:40] your question. That's kind of what's happening in WhatsApp sometimes.

[00:03:42] Ryan: Especially when I'm just, when I wake up and I'm full of [00:03:45] energy and I'm just, I'm ready to go. Because you can record audio notes in WhatsApp. And so that's what Maggie and [00:03:50] Monica have been doing. Yeah. It's been awesome. And people are seeing more results because of it.

[00:03:53] Maggie: Yeah. And it's just building more of [00:03:55] a community and we already know how easy it is to check out of a process.

[00:03:59] Maggie: Like, it is [00:04:00] so easy to just be like, I had someone just the other day who said they came in for two weeks, didn't give it [00:04:05] enough, whatever effort, and then they canceled and they reversed their cancellation. They saw what they were doing. And I [00:04:10] truly believe , it's. Aspects like the app and aspects like the WhatsApp [00:04:15] support that just make it so you're like, oh, I can't check out as easily and like, I know this is what I want.

[00:04:19] Maggie: When you [00:04:20]

[00:04:20] Ryan: have WhatsApp on your home screen and the notifications are coming through, it's hard to ignore. You have to put an effort to [00:04:25] ignore

[00:04:25] Maggie: it. Yeah.

[00:04:25] Ryan: Yeah, and you have to be like, no, I actually just want to keep overeating and this is reminding me of all the [00:04:30] mistakes I'm making. So I'm going to leave it or I'm going to silence it.

[00:04:32] Maggie: Yeah,

[00:04:32] Ryan: that's kind of what you have to do.

[00:04:33] Maggie: Yeah, it's, it's just [00:04:35] providing the ability to snap people out of it really quick. , that's the problem, right? , you don't get snapped [00:04:40] out of your bullshit quick enough. And then one, one meal turns into four days, turns into two weeks, turns into [00:04:45] two months.

[00:04:45] Maggie: We don't want that to happen. So that's what we're able to do there. We're just able to quickly shift to [00:04:50] the perspective. But then, I mean, that's just the we have on what tap. I want to remind everybody we have weekly. [00:04:55] coaching calls as well, whether they're Q and A's, coaching calls with me, coaching calls with Monica.

[00:04:58] Maggie: So I want to just [00:05:00] gently but firmly invite you to join the club. Um, you can go to vibewithmaggie. [00:05:05] com and get started right today. All right, what are we chatting about today?

[00:05:08] Ryan: Somebody said something , in [00:05:10] Vibe Club that made me, I had a thought.

[00:05:12] Maggie: Okay. And I think this is going to be good. This is going to be a good [00:05:15] distinction.

[00:05:15] Ryan: , someone said, are we not supposed to be dieting is what they said.

[00:05:18] Maggie: What was, do you know what the wider context, what [00:05:20] that was, or you're just, that's just

[00:05:21] Ryan: what we're, okay. I can't find it, but it just made me think, I think dieting is more so a [00:05:25] state of mind than anything else.

[00:05:26] Maggie: Yeah.

[00:05:26] Ryan: And it's a, it's a state of mind and it's a set of beliefs [00:05:30] because people eat all kinds of stuff and like , sometimes I go through phases where I would eat what is [00:05:35] considered diet food, but , I wouldn't say I'm dieting. I don't feel like I'm dieting. There's no lens of like [00:05:40] temporary or like thoughts that I'm stretching myself or doing things that aren't [00:05:45] sustainable.

[00:05:45] Maggie: Okay.

[00:05:46] Ryan: . And so I think it just kind of blends into. If dieting is a state of [00:05:50] mind, then it's really coming down to like diet mentality and what is that?

[00:05:53] Maggie: Yeah. It's so interesting because , [00:05:55] dieting to me is so charged, but then when you put it into like, oh, diet is just the food that you eat. [00:06:00] But yeah, but with your dieting, there's just this inherent energy and [00:06:05] vibe about it that you are eating in a way.

[00:06:08] Maggie: That is short term, it's not going to [00:06:10] be over the long term, it is going to end at some point because you're not going to be in dieting mode [00:06:15] forever, despite the fact that anything you put into your mouth is your diet. We're not talking about your diet, we're talking [00:06:20] about dieting. Dieting is a state of mind.

[00:06:23] Maggie: When we are referencing that, we [00:06:25] are referencing, ,

[00:06:26] Maggie: See, I don't like referencing it that much. Okay, when we are referencing dieting, we are talking about that diet [00:06:30] mentality that is full of rules and shoulds and musts and have tos and an energy [00:06:35] with which you are using your food choices and even your exercise [00:06:40] choices to restrict to a level that is essentially overriding the [00:06:45] signals that your body has for you.

[00:06:46] Ryan: It's such an important topic for us to talk about. , because it's such [00:06:50] a hard hurdle for people to overcome their own beliefs about things.

[00:06:54] Maggie: [00:06:55] Yes.

[00:06:55] Ryan: And, and especially It's nearly

[00:06:56] Maggie: impossible to get people to I know, I know. I saw

[00:06:59] Ryan: you, I saw [00:07:00] you talking to people on WhatsApp yesterday. It's one of the things you spend most of your , time helping people do [00:07:05] because if they can't overcome their diet thoughts, their diet mentality, then like really [00:07:10] doing the work is, it doesn't work as good.

[00:07:12] Maggie: I was listening to a Tony Robbins event, okay? I [00:07:15] love him. I love him. I've always loved him. And one of the things that stood out most, and I've got a notepad so [00:07:20] prepare to be sick of me with the Tony shit, you guys coming up soon. But he basically said that. , [00:07:25] you can have the perfect strategy and it cannot work because of the story.

[00:07:29] Maggie: [00:07:30] So you're right, I can tell you exactly what to do, but if your [00:07:35] story is rooted in that diet mentality, it doesn't matter if I give you the perfect [00:07:40] strategy, aka do exactly this. Because the energy you're doing [00:07:45] that with is based on a faulty belief system. And belief systems are rough, especially [00:07:50] the diet belief systems, because they are also rooted in health and what is actually good.

[00:07:54] Maggie: [00:07:55] good for me. And like the dogma around actual foods and how they actually [00:08:00] affect your body that we're making all these choices in the name of health, but you're making those choices in [00:08:05] the name of fear. It is not about the health. We can get to that later. You want to eat healthy. I [00:08:10] want you to eat healthy.

[00:08:11] Maggie: Unfortunately, there's some work in between you and eating for your health [00:08:15] because you're fucking terrified of all the foods. It is not healing to stick [00:08:20] all this shit in the corner, the foods and the whatever and the treats and the whatever [00:08:25] in the corner under a blanket and then say, I'm just doing this because I just feel best this [00:08:30] way.

[00:08:30] Maggie: That is not freedom. You still have your diet mentality, whether or not you put a blanket [00:08:35] over it and say it's because of this. When we really know. If we take a longer look [00:08:40] at your life and if you expect to be someone who eats birthday cake for birthdays, when birthdays come up, [00:08:45] and you expect to be someone that can go out and get chips and salsa and margaritas with your [00:08:50] friends for girls night, if that's who you're gonna be, then You're not doing yourself [00:08:55] any favors by hiding that in the corner because the biggest issue I see with [00:09:00] clients is you are not planning the foods that you want to eat because of this diet [00:09:05] mentality.

[00:09:05] Maggie: And you hear me when I say this, you are eating them [00:09:10] anyway. You're eating them anyway, so who gives a fuck about the health stuff? [00:09:15] You're eating them anyway, and because you're not planning them, because you have that diet mentality so [00:09:20] rooted, you're actually overeating them. So you're going completely against the actual goal that you have, [00:09:25] because your goal is to be healthier.

[00:09:26] Maggie: So you're not planning these foods, but you're eating these foods anyway, and then you're overeating them [00:09:30] because you believe you're not supposed to have them. Start the process over. I just feel better without margaritas and chips and [00:09:35] salsa. Okay. I do too. That doesn't mean I'm not going to have them every so often, that's what my life [00:09:40] is going to look like.

[00:09:40] Maggie: So I must do that work and stop hiding my [00:09:45] diet mentality underneath the name of health. And I just feel [00:09:50] better. Okay, then I want you to go into a room with all of your favorite. I want you to bring all your favorite foods into your house [00:09:55] for a week and let me know how that goes. But no, we don't do that.

[00:09:57] Maggie: We just keep it out of, if we keep it out of our house, [00:10:00] out of sight, out of mind is not healing. It is not neutralizing. That is the diet [00:10:05] mentality that we're talking about. It is a state of mind, and it [00:10:10] masquerades as many different things. It masquerades as, this is just who I want to be. I just [00:10:15] prefer And it's so funny, because like the other day, oh my gosh, what was it?

[00:10:19] Maggie: I had a [00:10:20] client who mentioned that she had ice cream and she didn't overeat. And she's like, turns out I'm [00:10:25] not lactose intolerant. I'm actually eat the whole pint intolerant and I'm like, I love [00:10:30] that. Great example. I had another example where someone said that their digestion is so much [00:10:35] better. Well, why?

[00:10:36] Maggie: Because they took all the carbs out of there? No, because they stopped [00:10:40] overeating. So I bet your health, you're feeling probably a lot better in your body, right? Because you changed everything? [00:10:45] No.

[00:10:45] Ryan: How does your digestion feel when we go on vacation?

[00:10:47] Maggie: awful. It takes [00:10:50] me like a week to get back to normal, just completely constipated.

[00:10:54] Maggie: Well, [00:10:55] that's just if I overeat. If I don't, I don't have issues with bread. I don't have issues with [00:11:00] dairy. I don't have those issues. So that's what's more funny to me is [00:11:05] that like a lot of the time it is in the name of being healthy, but I'm like, It's almost like the assumption that you have is [00:11:10] I don't want to eat these things, and I should never eat them again.

[00:11:14] Maggie: It's [00:11:15] like that's the underlying driver. But then you do eat them, and you think that the way to fix that is I [00:11:20] need to not want these foods anymore. That's what I need. I need the desire to go away. We had another [00:11:25] person who also said that they went carnivore, right? In the WhatsApp group, they went carnivore, and they said that [00:11:30] it worked for their food noise until it didn't.

[00:11:32] Maggie: Because what is carnivore, ultimately? You guys are going to hate my [00:11:35] definition. It is elimination, it's get it out of my house, it's get it out of my [00:11:40] eyesight. Oh my god, the food noise is so low. And you guys, I say this not to be like, [00:11:45] I'm not trying to be, say this in a taunting way because I did this with keto.

[00:11:48] Maggie: This is what I did with keto. [00:11:50] Oh, I just, no, I just prefer, I don't even like, that's been coming up a ton in vibe club too. I don't even [00:11:55] like sweets.

[00:11:56] Ryan: And that's, people say that and it comes from diet mentality. It comes from a diet mentality. They're [00:12:00] trying to convince themselves. And

[00:12:00] Maggie: it comes from fear. Who the fuck doesn't like sweets?

[00:12:03] Maggie: Yeah. It's like they don't [00:12:05] like that they like sweets. That's the honest way to say that. I don't like that I like pizza. [00:12:10] I don't like, I don't like that I have a desire for things that I always [00:12:15] overeat.

[00:12:15] Ryan: And I shouldn't have.

[00:12:16] Maggie: And I shouldn't have those things and I want that desire to [00:12:20] be gone. But what you guys don't realize is that the unconditional permission to eat all those [00:12:25] foods is what's going to give you what you want, which is the reduced desire.

[00:12:28] Maggie: You want that desire to [00:12:30] come down. What's the best way to raise desire on something? Restrict it. Tell yourself it's [00:12:35] off limits. Tell yourself you're not allowed to have it. That's how you just freaking [00:12:40] just add fuel to the desire fire. Oh, oh, not the [00:12:45] desire fire, not fanning the desire fire, [00:12:50] okay.

[00:12:51] Ryan: Um, I asked AI to explain 20 [00:12:55] concise ways to explain diet mentality. Okay. These are like 20 very short sentences, you want me to start reading [00:13:00] through them and you can pause me if you want to talk about one?

[00:13:01] Ryan: Okay. Okay, number one, believing temporary food restrictions [00:13:05] will lead to permanent happiness.

[00:13:06] Maggie: Yes, say it again.

[00:13:09] Ryan: Believing [00:13:10] temporary food restrictions will lead to permanent happiness.

[00:13:13] Maggie: Yeah, well that's just bullshit, I don't, there's not [00:13:15] much to say on that.

[00:13:15] Ryan: Morally judging yourself based on what you eat.

[00:13:18] Ryan: Cycling between rigid food rules [00:13:20] and feelings of failure.

[00:13:21] Maggie: That sounds awful. All these things are so fucking, this is the worst list I've ever heard.

[00:13:24] Ryan: [00:13:25] Putting life on hold until reaching an ideal weight. Completely unrealistic. Categorizing foods as [00:13:30] good or bad without middle ground. Yep.

[00:13:32] Maggie: Top thing I recommend you stop.

[00:13:33] Ryan: Measuring self worth through the number on your [00:13:35] scale. Please stop. Living by external food rules instead of internal wisdom.

[00:13:39] Maggie: Yeah. [00:13:40] Hate that.

[00:13:40] Ryan: Pursuing thinness at the expense of overall well being.

[00:13:43] Maggie: Yeah. That's, that's the big [00:13:45] thing. Like I, so many people just circling back to the whole health aspect is [00:13:50] that sometimes even this big focus on health, like you don't realize that .

[00:13:53] Maggie: Your emotional health [00:13:55] is suffering now because your health like because I've seen I mean we've discussed this in a [00:14:00] small way and in the past I know but like orthorexia is a is an eating disorder [00:14:05] that's obsessed with health. You're obsessed with health. You're obsessed with. Being as [00:14:10] healthy as you can and like the good food, bad food mentality is on a completely different level.

[00:14:13] Maggie: That's why we really have to toe [00:14:15] the line carefully because it can be a full time obsession just the same as binge eating [00:14:20] disorder or anorexia. Like all of these things is like we're taking something to an extreme.

[00:14:24] Ryan: [00:14:25] Yeah.

[00:14:25] Maggie: I think the obsession with health and eating in the name of health and doing all these [00:14:30] hacks in the name of health is a bit, is a much bigger problem than is being discussed these days.

[00:14:34] Maggie: I think [00:14:35] it's, I think it is absolutely. Undercover OCD that people are not realizing [00:14:40] that I, I recorded a voice note about this the other day to a client that it's like, first it's the [00:14:45] cold plunges, then it's the supplements, then it's the cryotherapy, then it's the red light, then it's, and none of those [00:14:50] things are bad in and of themselves, but what I've seen from the outside is the way that shit snowballs, and suddenly [00:14:55] we're trying to micromanage everything in the name of health, your mental well being, you know?

[00:14:59] Maggie: Is suffering [00:15:00] because now micromanaging every aspect of your life is now your full time job.

[00:15:04] Ryan: What comes from the [00:15:05] fear mongering on social media?

[00:15:06] Maggie: Yes. Well, and also the optimization crowd on [00:15:10] social media. You're never doing enough. You could always do more.

[00:15:13] Ryan: Yeah.

[00:15:14] Maggie: Have you tried [00:15:15] cold plunges? Are you taking your magnesium, vitamin D, vitamin C?

[00:15:19] Maggie: I mean, [00:15:20] it will never end. That is a path that keeps people busy and I think we need to be, I'm going [00:15:25] off topic right now, maybe, I don't know, but I think we need to be aware of when this obsession [00:15:30] with our health and also our bodies is a distraction from just doing some [00:15:35] other shit in the world.

[00:15:35] Maggie: Like you guys have other things to do than to just spend all day optimizing with [00:15:40] every tip Huberman Lab has for you. It can become a full time job. And when we, when we [00:15:45] pull it all back, you should be getting fresh air. You should be trying to sleep. You should be getting [00:15:50] some water. And you should be eating generally in a way that makes you feel good, but also gives you the freedom to [00:15:55] enjoy living on this earth as well.

[00:15:57] Maggie: That's, anything else is bells and [00:16:00] whistles.

[00:16:00] Ryan: Yeah. Uh, next one. Believing weight loss equals automatic life improvement.

[00:16:04] Maggie: [00:16:05] Absolutely untrue.

[00:16:05] Ryan: Yeah. Trading sustainable habits for quick fix solutions. Viewing few [00:16:10] choices as moral decisions rather than preferences. That's

[00:16:13] Maggie: exactly what we talked about. Yeah. Say that one more time [00:16:15] though.

[00:16:15] Ryan: Viewing food choices as moral decisions rather than preferences. Yeah. Food choices are just [00:16:20] preferences. And

[00:16:20] Maggie: that's another way that it can become this moral, you have this moral high ground where it's like, well, I don't eat [00:16:25] sugar. Okay. Until you do. So that's fine. But until you do, and when [00:16:30] you do, you don't have the control that you think you have.

[00:16:32] Maggie: And that's another way that these things are [00:16:35] masquerading as these obsessive compulsive focuses on Shit [00:16:40] that is helping you feel like you've got a really strong grasp on your life. But if that's not [00:16:45] true when you're, , faced with one of your favorite foods in front of you or in your house or at a party or on a [00:16:50] trip, you do not have the control that you think you have.

[00:16:52] Maggie: And I am just constantly screaming, it's worth [00:16:55] doing that work so that that's not a problem for you anymore.

[00:16:57] Ryan: Yeah. Postponing joy until reaching an [00:17:00] arbitrary body goal. Yeah. That's dumb. Letting the scale determine your daily mood.

[00:17:04] Maggie: Yeah. [00:17:05]

[00:17:05] Ryan: But going through this in Vibe Club, we have a daily weighing challenge going on that the members started themselves.

[00:17:09] Maggie: [00:17:10] So you guys are going to hear this, what, a couple of days after we record it. Yeah. This is an ongoing challenge. I did [00:17:15] not set it up, but I have a, uh, just a, a group of people who are like, listen, we're trying to neutralize. [00:17:20] the scale weigh ins and we're doing that through exposure therapy, okay, so we're getting on that scale and [00:17:25] just letting, letting that exist, deciding what we're going to think , and collecting that data over time.[00:17:30]

[00:17:30] Maggie: But we need to do an entire, I shared the scale episode that I [00:17:35] did. It was episode number 170, which I did by myself, but you and I probably need to do an [00:17:40] updated version. The other one is good as well, but the way we see the [00:17:45] scale dictating and what you do over the next 12 waking hours, [00:17:50] it's got to stop.

[00:17:51] Maggie: When the scale is down, that doesn't mean you have more room to [00:17:55] overeat and it's time to celebrate. When the scale is up, that does not mean there's no overeating [00:18:00] today. I need to be actually extra strict. We're not eating that snack or that dessert. The scale is [00:18:05] up. There's been a lot of really good coaching going on around that because the drama [00:18:10] knows no bounds with the scale.

[00:18:12] Maggie: It is just no matter how many times I [00:18:15] say, what you did yesterday has nothing to do with what the scale says today. , [00:18:20] everybody is up in arms over shit and water because we think we're gaining [00:18:25] two pounds overnight or we think we're losing two pounds overnight. That's what you guys are [00:18:30] freaking out about, by the way.

[00:18:31] Maggie: Shit and water. This is what I have to do. I [00:18:35] have to take it to an extreme where people will hear me. Because otherwise I'm saying things like, there are [00:18:40] many things that affect the scale. There aren't that many things, you guys. There aren't that many things that affect [00:18:45] the scale. Especially three pounds up, two pounds down.

[00:18:47] Maggie: All of that. And I believe it was [00:18:50] last week's episode where we talked about you don't deserve a reward for not overeating for one day. [00:18:55] And if it was that hard for you, that you feel like you need a reward, we need to work on the thinking [00:19:00] around the work that you're doing every day.

[00:19:01] Ryan: I understand it because I was once there obviously, but letting the scale [00:19:05] determine your daily mood.

[00:19:06] Maggie: Yeah. Your mood or your decisions. Like

[00:19:08] Ryan: a daily weight means nothing. [00:19:10] Okay. It means absolutely nothing. And the only way to overcome letting the scale dictate your [00:19:15] daily mood is to see the daily data over a span of 30 [00:19:20] days,

[00:19:20] Ryan: exposing yourself to that daily data will show you what the trends do, and the more you [00:19:25] expose yourself to it, the more you understand it, you hiding from it. Is just keeping yourself [00:19:30] ignorant.

[00:19:30] Maggie: Yeah, and this falls into the same category. When we hide the scale, [00:19:35] right, and we put a blanket over it, but then anytime we step on the scale, then we go to a doctor's office and we're [00:19:40] like, Oh my God, and we get too super triggered.

[00:19:42] Maggie: That doesn't mean any healing has happened. It just means that we put it out of sight, out of [00:19:45] mind. Falls into the same category. It's not just about getting on the scale every day. Right? If any [00:19:50] of you guys are familiar with exposure response prevention, it's like a legit, uh, therapeutic [00:19:55] tool, which whatever for like OCD, anxiety.

[00:19:58] Maggie: The whole point is to [00:20:00] expose yourself to something and then create a different response. Not to respond the way you used to, not to do [00:20:05] your avoidance behaviors, not to do your compulsive things, not try to solve, not to do anything that, but to expose yourself to [00:20:10] the thing and then not do what you always do.

[00:20:12] Maggie: And so it's not just about collecting that data [00:20:15] over time. It's about getting on the scale and practicing every single day. The show [00:20:20] goes on exactly the way it was going on. Nothing changes right now. What [00:20:25] changes is I'm going to follow my plan. That's it. And when I say that, I mean I'm not going to [00:20:30] overeat.

[00:20:30] Maggie: That's it. I get on the scale. The scale is up. I follow my plan. I don't overeat. I get on the scale. The scale [00:20:35] is down. I follow my plan. I don't overeat. Nothing changes. It's the exact same thing. That's so exciting. [00:20:40] You just keep going, but this whole like, the scale is up two pounds from yesterday [00:20:45] and I didn't overeat.

[00:20:46] Maggie: Good job. It might be up. It might be down two pounds tomorrow. We have no [00:20:50] idea because it doesn't matter what's happening from day to day. So we do need to do a full [00:20:55] podcast, but we basically just did because that's the majority of what we want to tell you regarding the scale and letting it dictate [00:21:00] your choices.

[00:21:01] Maggie: Or specifically, what's listed here is your mood. Like, now your whole day is [00:21:05] ruined because the scale is up. And then, just imagine how that affects your food choices. You're so [00:21:10] pissed about the scale that now you're overeating. So now, again, we're taking action that [00:21:15] goes directly against the goals that we actually have.

[00:21:18] Ryan: Yeah.

[00:21:18] Maggie: We want the scale to be down and [00:21:20] we're mad about that, so I'm gonna overeat. We have to start bringing our rational brains into this process because [00:21:25] otherwise our subconscious diet beliefs and diet mentality Will be running the [00:21:30] show.

[00:21:30] Ryan: Should I just keep reading?

[00:21:31] Maggie: Just do a couple more and then we'll wrap it up.

[00:21:33] Maggie: I think we've, I think we've, There's only five more. Okay.

[00:21:34] Ryan: [00:21:35] Ignoring body signals in favor of diet rules. I

[00:21:37] Maggie: hate that so much. That's the one I hate actually of all the ones [00:21:40] You've mentioned. I hate that one the most.

[00:21:41] Ryan: Fascinating. Ignoring body signals in favor of diet rules. Yeah. Yeah. [00:21:45] Thinking perfect eating leads to a perfect life.

[00:21:47] Maggie: And, like, what is perfect eating, either? [00:21:50] Like,

[00:21:50] Ryan: Doesn't exist.

[00:21:51] Maggie: I heard a really good quote from Tony again in this thing where he said, Perfectionism [00:21:55] is the lowest level of standards I can have for myself. And I don't remember the [00:22:00] context or how he explained it, but I'm just gonna leave you guys with that.

[00:22:02] Maggie: He's like, because you, it's impossible. [00:22:05] You can't do it. So it's it's just this facade that you can accomplish something that can't even be [00:22:10] accomplished for what and it's this expectation that like we've mentioned before, you can always do more and more and [00:22:15] be healthier and do more and more and more and more.

[00:22:17] Maggie: It's it's a moving target. It's you'll never end up [00:22:20] there. So it is a low expectation to have for yourself. You're never going to end up in that place.

[00:22:24] Ryan: Yeah, some of these [00:22:25] are kind of redundant Prioritizing appearance over physical and mental health, following rigid food [00:22:30] rules instead of personal needs, equating body size with personal value and [00:22:35] success, letting food guilt control your daily choices.

[00:22:38] Ryan: Oof.

[00:22:38] Maggie: So that gives you a list of [00:22:40] 20 things that you guys can think about and if they apply to you. And I think the biggest thing [00:22:45] with diet mentality is like you have to be willing to let go of it. If there's one problem [00:22:50] that I see, the biggest issue with helping women to stop this process, to [00:22:55] get rid of the diet mentality, is their actual willingness to let it go.

[00:22:58] Maggie: Because I'm not going to rip it [00:23:00] out of your hands. I'll tell you what, that's not my job as a coach. I can show it to you. I can show you what your [00:23:05] brain is doing. But when you believe that the diet rules trump the [00:23:10] coaching, That you're getting on it when you believe that the diet rules are stronger and more [00:23:15] important than actually eliminating the fear or [00:23:20] eliminating the bad habits or eliminating , the avoidance behaviors that you have, it's always [00:23:25] going to remain a living thing for you.

[00:23:26] Maggie: It's always going to remain alive and something that [00:23:30] is always existing right under the surface.

[00:23:32] Ryan: And there's phases of peeling back the layers here. [00:23:35] The first step in what I think this podcast is trying to do is help you understand what kind of a problem it is.

[00:23:39] Maggie: Yeah.

[00:23:39] Ryan: And [00:23:40] then once you actually understand the problem, .

[00:23:42] Ryan: It's your willingness to look at [00:23:45] it, change it, and also to figure out the sneaky ways that it pops up still, [00:23:50] because you're going to try and convince yourself that you still need this stuff.

[00:23:52] Maggie: Yes, exactly. You still need

[00:23:53] Ryan: these beliefs.

[00:23:54] Maggie: So [00:23:55] What he's saying is. You won't see it as diet mentality.

[00:23:58] Maggie: , and that's the problem. How do we [00:24:00] fix something that we aren't, isn't in our awareness as a problem? So you have to be open to where [00:24:05] you're missing your own diet mentality. That's where coaching and a group like Vibe Club can come [00:24:10] very in handy because we've had these beliefs for so long that What do you mean?

[00:24:14] Maggie: This isn't diet [00:24:15] mentality. I just prefer eating this way. I just prefer these types of

[00:24:18] Ryan: rules. They're good for me. [00:24:20] It's 90 percent of the coaching that goes on is pointing out diet mentality to people that where they don't see it. It's their diet [00:24:25] mentality blind spots.

[00:24:25] Maggie: Yeah. And, and that can be hard because we don't.

[00:24:28] Maggie: I would have loved [00:24:30] for someone to tell me that my keto beliefs were diet mentality. I wasn't [00:24:35] ready for that. But I wasn't in a group, you know, looking for that either. But if somebody

[00:24:39] Ryan: had told you, [00:24:40] you would have gone in one ear and out the other.

[00:24:41] Maggie: Absolutely. I would have been like, well, you don't know me.

[00:24:44] Maggie: This is what's right [00:24:45] for me. I'm in my own body. Fuck off. That's that would have been my response. Yeah. [00:24:50] But. Once I became open to the fact that this is a problem, I want to know where [00:24:55] my blind spots are. I want to learn this. I want to be wrong. I want to be wrong about needing this. [00:25:00] I want to be wrong about ketosis being the only way I can live my life.

[00:25:04] Maggie: I want to be wrong [00:25:05] about how this is so great for my brain fog. I want to be wrong about these things.

[00:25:09] Ryan: You didn't see [00:25:10] it as a problem, you saw it as a solution. 100%. To your problems.

[00:25:12] Maggie: Yeah. So it's like, well, don't take my [00:25:15] solution away. This is working just fine. And those are the comments I see on the internet.

[00:25:18] Maggie: The most it's like, no, no, this [00:25:20] is, this is good for me. I love this. And I'm like, I, okay, I'm, I'm wanting to work [00:25:25] with people , who are like, something is off here and I might not see it all. I see a little [00:25:30] bit of it for sure. But that's the problem is I think our expectation when we get the awareness that are, [00:25:35] we do have diet mentality, it does exist.

[00:25:37] Maggie: You are seeing the. Tip of the iceberg because [00:25:40] I was just referencing I can't remember where the podcast where I did episode [00:25:45] 130. I'm not keto anymore And I remember being so apologetic in that podcast Maybe me to [00:25:50] me maybe me to you guys but being like, you know, I just want peas like I just want p [00:25:55] e a s not peas Peas

[00:25:56] Ryan: green vegetable.

[00:25:57] Maggie: I just want rice. I just want at that [00:26:00] time my diet mentality. I was only beginning that journey for [00:26:05] myself. That was me being like, okay, I'm like, I'm going to figure this out. I'm not doing keto anymore. But like, that [00:26:10] was the tip of the iceberg. I had no idea how deep the diet mentality [00:26:15] went. I had no idea how much food rules and food beliefs were.

[00:26:18] Maggie: Um, making my daily [00:26:20] plans for me, making my decisions for me. I, that was my intro. So just be [00:26:25] aware to the level you think you have diet mentality, it's probably 10x that. And most of that is [00:26:30] completely subconscious for you right now. It is not a conscious awareness that you have.

[00:26:33] Ryan: Yeah. And I think prior to that, you [00:26:35] understood it was a problem, but up until that point.

[00:26:37] Ryan: You weren't really open to being wrong about it. And [00:26:40] once you were open to being wrong about it, I feel like it happened a lot faster. Of course it happened a lot faster.

[00:26:44] Maggie: [00:26:45] But what I'm saying is it's kind of like onions. You are peeling back the layers and you get to a point where you're like, Oh, I still [00:26:50] have these thoughts that I should overeat on vacation.

[00:26:52] Maggie: Cause that's what you do because you need a break from your [00:26:55] routine. Wait, I don't need a break from my routine. My routine works just fine for me. I don't. I'm going to continue as normal, like [00:27:00] little things like that were over time, me and Monica laugh about how we used to get like two donuts [00:27:05] when we would go to the donut store.

[00:27:06] Maggie: And then we just realized that we could just have a couple bites of [00:27:10] each donut. Like we didn't need to be overeating. It's like this slow unpeeling of like, I can't [00:27:15] have everything I want. I just, I'm not going to overeat it anymore. It became very, very simple. [00:27:20] You guys don't realize your. Your diet rules are making things very complex for you.

[00:27:24] Maggie: I don't want to waste the [00:27:25] donuts, Maggie. I don't want to waste the donuts, god forbid. Sneaky diet

[00:27:28] Ryan: mentality.

[00:27:28] Maggie: Very sneaky diet [00:27:30] mentality. That one always gets me. It's like, I don't want to waste it, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna eat it when I'm not hungry. And [00:27:35] then your body's like, that was an overdue, I'm gonna store this as fat for you.

[00:27:38] Maggie: Dude,

[00:27:38] Ryan: ask, next time you're in the donut shop, [00:27:40] ask them how many donuts they throw away at the end of the day. Oh my gosh, I'm sure hundreds. You're worried about wasting a fucking [00:27:45] donut? Yeah. Ask them how many they throw away. Yeah. Okay? Yeah, give me a break.

[00:27:48] Maggie: It's sneaky. It's sneaky. And [00:27:50] it comes for to be like, well, growing up, you know, we were forced to finish our food on our plate, all that stuff.

[00:27:54] Maggie: [00:27:55] Okay, now what would now what would you like to do? Would you like to consider overfueling yourself in the name of I [00:28:00] was forced to finish my plate when I was younger? Because we get to decide that at a certain point. And then also the full [00:28:05] knowledge, it is being wasted regardless, unless you can save it and eat it later, it's being wasted [00:28:10] in your body.

[00:28:11] Maggie: And it's producing a lack of results for you when you are eating. Because [00:28:15] you don't want to waste something. It's getting wasted on your body. We just, we just did like [00:28:20] 14 different mini, mini side shows , in this podcast because, because that's how [00:28:25] applicable the diet mentality is. Whether it's the scale, whether, I mean, and I do, and I yap all [00:28:30] day.

[00:28:30] Maggie: That's what I do all day in Vibe Club is we figure out where these blind spots exist and [00:28:35] you're not always going to be ready for the information. That comes from a coach, you're [00:28:40] not, but we're there to show you your blind spots and to help you based, not based on what we think you [00:28:45] should do, by the way, based on the concerns you're coming to us with, you know, it's, [00:28:50] it's, what are your concerns?

[00:28:51] Maggie: How are you're overeating all the time? Could it be because you are not [00:28:55] planning these foods? Yes. Plan the foods, but I can't plan the foods. They're bad for me. [00:29:00] Diet mentality. That's what it is. So I need you to plan the foods. You don't want to do that because you don't want to let [00:29:05] go of your diet mentality.

[00:29:06] Maggie: But your frustration comes with the fact that you're overeating these foods. Do you see how we're [00:29:10] just going in a fucking circle over and over and over again? In order for you to make the progress you want to [00:29:15] make, you are going to have to release this aspect of your diet mentality. And then once we do that, um, [00:29:20] congratulations, we've pulled off that, that layer of the onion.

[00:29:23] Maggie: And then. We move on to the next [00:29:25] one. You're not going to like, you're not going to like this one either. Then we just pull off those, but

[00:29:29] Ryan: it's

[00:29:29] Maggie: to free [00:29:30] you.

[00:29:30] Ryan: It's like you don't go to therapy and expect like the therapist to tell you what you want to [00:29:35] hear.

[00:29:35] Maggie: Well, otherwise you're, you're paying for just reassurance all day long and just don't make [00:29:40] me feel bad.

[00:29:40] Maggie: Don't make me have to do uncomfortable things. That's life. That's [00:29:45] growth. But you have to some people it really is just like you're going to have to rip my diet mentality from my [00:29:50] cold dead hands and it's like, no, I don't want to do that. I have no interest in doing that. But I see the [00:29:55] pain that you're in.

[00:29:56] Maggie: And so because of that, I must highlight the fact that the pain is being [00:30:00] created by the diet mentality.

[00:30:01] Ryan: Aka your thoughts.

[00:30:02] Maggie: Aka your thinking about [00:30:05] food, about the scale, about Working out about all of it. We, you've got diet [00:30:10] mentality around all of it. I coach on that all the time. Same thing goes for exercise.

[00:30:14] Maggie: No, [00:30:15] it's, the funny thing is, I could, I could give you a greatest hits playlist of all [00:30:20] the things where I would say, no matter how many times I tell them this, it doesn't matter [00:30:25] why, because the diet mentality belief is stronger than what I'm saying. I can tell you the [00:30:30] strategy, but your story is what's going to stand in the way.

[00:30:33] Maggie: That's why we work on our [00:30:35] stories in Vibe Club. That's why we work on, what are your thoughts about it? Okay. Do you want to let that [00:30:40] go? Or do you want to keep you? It's like you're holding on to something. I don't know a good example off the top of my head, [00:30:45] but like I've heard it described as like you're over there hitting yourself in the face.

[00:30:48] Maggie: We'll go with that one, right? You're punching [00:30:50] yourself in the face. And I'm like, do you know you could stop punching yourself in the face? And you're like, I know, but I've [00:30:55] been punching myself in the face for 40 years. And I'm like, I know, but that's irrelevant. Just because you've been punching yourself [00:31:00] in the face for 40 years does not mean you have to keep punching yourself in the face.

[00:31:03] Maggie: And I like try to grab their hand, but [00:31:05] they're They're stronger than me and I'm like, I will let you keep punching yourself in the face as long as you want [00:31:10] to, but I don't think you like it as much as you think you like it. I know it's what I [00:31:15] know. It's what I know. It's familiar, but I, I think your life would be a lot [00:31:20] better if you stopped punching yourself in the face and I'm going to tell you why, but I can't.

[00:31:24] Maggie: Be [00:31:25] with you all the time to grab your wrist. I'm going to try a couple times though. I will try to grab that [00:31:30] wrist a couple times just to kind of show you what it's like to get the break from punching yourself in the face. But [00:31:35] ultimately the arm is attached to your body and you have to decide when the thing that you're doing that you [00:31:40] think is so good for you is actually not as good for you as you thought.

[00:31:42] Maggie: And you need to put your fucking hand down. [00:31:45] Okay.

[00:31:45] Ryan: Yeah.

[00:31:45] Maggie: All right, everybody. We'll see you next week.

[00:31:47] Ryan: See you next [00:31:50] week.

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